Thursday, February 12, 2009

Love, Love, Love (postpartum wisdom)

a double shot soy latte is the creme de la crop. extra points if you add a sparkle of cinnamon, a dash of nutmeg or a pearl of chocolate. You can look at machines here (ours is a $300 Starbucks Barista- my first credit card, Luv and I were drinking way too much coffee and we saw it as a good investment. still around five years later...)

flowers, whatever variety, potted preferred. There's an essence, a vivid energy,an uninterrupeted glow about them. breathe it in. And give flowers to others, often.

a wide array of fresh fruits and vegetables. nourish your body, and eat compassionately. h e r e a r e a f e w

Yoga, in and of itself, unites your body with your mind, relaxing your soul and energizing your being. Lock yourself in a room, children preferrably sleeping/eating/watching a movie, and make a routine. Start easy, because you'll be consistently interrupted, and when you're feeling ready, take a class. It really does help..

(more later)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Just One Night

let me start off by saying that I understand how you feel. You're home with the kids day in and day out, little chance of a hot dinner, shower by yourself, 1/2 hour of reading/resting/relaxing, or going for walk without singing songs about looking both ways.. and I know that you daydream about the opportunity to flee from the scene, to run -or walk fastly- from the very ones you birthed, wiped and bounced, but you don't. Instead, after all of this, after the burnouts and tantrums and tears, you want to get away for just one simple night. but you also want to do all of these simple things, all of these things that have been deemed impossible with small (or even large) children at home.

Someday, mama, you will get this chance. If you're like me you'll have a baby still in tow. She'll be nursing frequently, she'll poop when you finally arrive to the restaurant, diapers left in the hotel. She'll probably cry while you bathe and she'll wake every 40 minutes through the night. But that is nothing compared to the constant corraling of three eager little bodies, refereeing sibling attacks between the oldest two and sheilding the baby from a four-year-old's enthusiastic lee-than graceful monster mashes.

Now, though, you are free. you've gathered your belongings, washed your babe's cloths, arranged appropriate accomodations and planned ahead with a supply of bandages, cookies, infant socks (in your pocket, of course) and tampons- just in case. You have a room, you arrive with a smile, your key works, there is no urine on the bathroom floor. Heaven, right?

And then is starts. you begin to miss them- the very ones you needed to break away from. wondering if they're thinking about you, if their happy, if they remembered to brush their teeth. Wondering if they'll be able to fall asleep without you by their side, without goodnights and talks of dreams. Wondering if you'll be able to sleep without their cuddles and giggles, silly jokes and interpretations. you really miss them.

You eat hot pizza, drink cold beer, and sit back. The TV's on, the windows are open, there are no toys in sight. Peacefulness surrounds you as you indulge, as you let your mind travel, as you watch the baby sleep.

and then once you're nice and buzzed, face flushed and walls not quite still, you find the snacks. You eat, and eat and eat, because you can. Two jerkys, one cookie, one day-old brownie, and four chimp-mints. with the beer.

and now you're sick. and the baby woke up. and your hotel room neighbor is having a loud three-way with two random guys (yeah, the Hilton wouldn't be my first pick for privacy) and you feel alone. you wish you could hug your partner (who is, by the way, chillin' in the room next door, but needing to be alone in preperation of his LSAT the next morning). you wish you could call your children and whisper sweet thoughts. you wish you could help the baby, but you can't.

the next day, fresh and revived, you head out for breakfast with your mini-me. you eat waffles, drenched in a blueberry compote, sip your coffee, read about greek goddesses. you pay a nice tip since the baby had dropped nearly half her food, and screeched/laghed/waved throughout your meal. you move on, buy a book, buy some baby clothes, buy some more coffee, sit down in a restaurant with your love, after his test, for 15 minutes, only to leave empty handed.

hours later, full or pizza, beer and Eugene's extreme left/right personality, you catch a bus. the ride is neutral, the baby's happy enough, no one has puked, no one has lost a wallet. home is close enough.

when you finally arrive in Portland, everything is familar. the smells remind you of our damp trees, baren and shallow. the colors pull at you, as if reality has just set in. your girls are safe in you mother-in-law's borrowed van, one smiling at your mere presence, the other soundly sleeping in the back.

you made it, and you feel satisfied and present. life has taken you on many journeys, and you appreciate the luxery of a break, but you realize just how much you need your family, and how nice it is to be back. ('Til next week.)

Meaningful Rambling

After nearly eight years of being a stay-at-home-mom, and occasional student/nanny/childcare provider, you may begin to wonder where all of this is going.
you may question your choice to be the primary caregiver to your children, and you may even cruise craigslist occasionally for job listings (god, if only your nah-nahs weren't leaking and your tummy didn't look like a highway map of California- you could be a dancer).
But then, you see your herd, your magnificent circus of spawn, blue and brown eyes gazing your way, long/curly/thick/red/barely-there hair brushing along your arm, icy toes finding their way into your many crevices and you smile, and maybe even drool from the loss of concentration (no? just me?)). So anyway, you're there, gay as a tube of vasoline on Stark, bathing in the beauty of your happy family, content with love and compassion, understanding and forgiveness.
You may realize just how much they depend on you, how much they need you when boo-boos happens, or algebra clicks, or to see the results of an experiment involving cocoa mix, dish soap and a candy cane.
If you weren't there, with your loves, you would miss these moments, the everyday ups and downs of growing, learning, doing, trying, being, laughing. you would miss their kisses and hugs, 143's and bellys.
and then you know. you see where you are, who you've become and what you envision for the future. you appreciate the opportunity to watch your children, the be there with them, to shape their minds and nourish their bodies.
you love them, and that is why you are here.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Exploring Isis

By Catherine C. Harris

The Egyptian goddess Isis is one of the most important goddesses of ancient Egypt, and she remains one of the most well known goddesses of this age. Isis is most well known for her role as devoted wife and mother. In the Osiris legend we can see the reasoning behind this pattern of thought.

Isis is one of the five children of Nut, the sky goddess. When Isis was very young, she was determined to increase her powers. In order to do so, she would have to get the secret name out from Ra. Isis was clever and used Ra's own saliva to create an invisible snake that bit him. Thus Ra was poisoned and could not heal himself because he didn't know the nature of the wound. Ra was weak and near the end of his reign, and Isis took advantage of him. Isis offered to heal Ra if he would tell her his secret name. Faced with death from the unknown wound, Ra told Isis the name and in doing so he transferred his knowledge and power to her.

Isis later married Osiris, and together they ruled over Egypt. Due to Set's jealousy over the throne, Osiris was tricked into climbing in a box. Once he was inside the box, the lid was slammed closed and nailed shut. The box was then covered with melted lead and thrown into the Nile. Isis was furious and grieved for her husband.

Eventually, word reached Isis that Osiris was found in Byblos. Isis traveled to Byblos where she used the magic taught to her by Thoth to bring her husband back to life long enough to conceive a child by him. She hid on the island until she gave birth to her son, Horus.

While Isis was away one day, Set found the body of Osiris. He had the body cut into 14 pieces and had them scattered throughout Egypt. Isis returned and was grief stricken. Isis began her search for the body parts of her beloved Osiris. She found all of the pieces except for his manhood, which had been eaten by a crab. With help from several other deities, Isis performed the needed magic to rejoin the body parts of her departed husband, Osiris. Isis performed the Rite of Rebirth in order to give Osiris eternal life, at which time Osiris ascended to the immortal world.

Isis stayed in hiding with Horus as he grew and trained. She knew he would need to be strong to regain control of the throne, which was rightfully his. Isis exposed Horus to wild animals and scorpion bites in an effort to give him strength. Each time he was attacked or poisoned he was protected. Osiris, his father, came down to teach him weaponry.

Eventually, Horus challenged Set for the throne of Egypt. Horus went before the elder gods and petitioned for them to appoint him the rightful ruler. Set tried to convince everyone that Horus was not strong enough to rule. Despite the World Mother's declaration that Horus was indeed the rightful heir the tribunal sided with Set. Isis struck fear into the tribunal by putting curses on everyone.

The tribunal was moved to an island that was thought to be out of the reach of Isis. Isis would not be thwarted, however, and bribed the ferryman to take her to the island. Once there she disguised herself as a young and beautiful maiden. She trapped Set into saying that her son was the rightful heir to the throne. Once Set realized what he had done he returned to tell the tribunal.

Set demanded that the matter be settled by combat between himself and Horus. The two men dove into the Nile to see which one could hold his breath the longest. Isis became so concerned for her son Horus that she threw a magical spear into the water. It struck Horus by mistake, and he emerged for his mother to remove the spear. Isis again threw the spear into the water, and this time it hit Set. Set emerged from the water, as Horus had done, for Isis to remove the spear. Horus was so enraged at his mother's interference that he lashed out at her with the spear and chopped her head off. The god Thoth replaced Isis' head with that of a cow. In the end, after much turmoil, Horus was named the rightful heir. Set would never accept it and continued to be a thorn in their sides.

The Egyptian goddess Isis is one of the goddesses that stood the test of time. Isis is the Greek form of more ancient Egyptian names, and the name Isis is associated with the word for "throne." Originally, Isis was known as Aset, or Eset. Isis is worshipped today, just as she has been for thousands of years, as the Lady of Heaven, The Great Enchantress, Goddess of Magic, The Goddess of Love and War, the Giver of Life, Queen of the Gods, and Goddess of Marriage and Protection.

Isis was able to give the gift of immortality. For this reason, she is often portrayed wearing or carrying an Ankh. The Ankh is an ancient symbol for eternal life. The symbol is similar to that of a cross, but it has a looped top. Isis is sometimes seen wearing horns and a solar disk atop her head. She is sometimes pictured with wings. Isis is occasionally shown with a cow's head or with the sign of a throne on her head.

Isis is one of the only winged deities in Egyptian myth. She is sometimes representative of the wind, as in the legend of Osiris. One version of the legend tells of Isis using her wings to fill Osiris' mouth and nose with air. For those people who recognize Isis as a force at work in their life; the wind takes on a magical face. The simple act of walking outside on a windy day brings about a refreshing of the soul.

Isis is viewed as the protector and patron of women. Isis guided women in childbirth, marriage, and in the loss of loved ones. She has the qualities that endear her to women of all ages. Isis is full of compassion, tenderness, love and devotion. Isis is the Great Mother Goddess.

As a divine healer, Isis shared the secrets of healing and preparation of medical potions to her priestesses. Isis is also credited for bringing us the secrets of law and agriculture. If you ask anyone that esteems Isis to the role of goddess in this present age; you will surely hear them proclaim that Isis holds life in here hands. Isis, with her ability to breathe life into something once dead, is worshipped today as she has for centuries.

There are ways to bring the goddess Isis into everyday life. Her colors are white, gold, and cobalt blue. Many view these as the colors of royalty and comfort. The gems and stones equated with Isis are pearl, coral, lapis, geodes, and moonstone. Wearing jewelry with these stones embedded is just one way to bring the goddess near. Fragrances of the goddess are myrrh, rose, iris, and eucalyptus. Candles and essential oils are useful in bringing the fragrance of Isis into the home.

Isis is the Mistress of all elements, and she is a powerful wind that blows constant. Isis is the ‘Goddess of Countless Names,’ and she will continue to make her presence known.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Mmm, Vegan Mac N Cheese!

I came up with this meal last night.. we are broke, had little in the house but still manage to make a kick-ass meal.

ingredients (amounts are approximate- make it how you like):

16 oz macaroni (we used three boxes of organic "real" mac minus the cheese that my mom gave us)
1/2 cup soy butter
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp fresh basil, finely chopped
1/2-3/4 cup green onions, diced
minced garlic (to taste)
1 Tbsp flour
1 cup plain soy milk
1 cup nutritional yeast
3/4 cup vegan sour cream
pepper (to taste)
salt (to taste)
1 cup organic french fried onions


1. cook noodles according to package
2. melt butter into cooked pasta
3. in a seperate pot, heat 1 Tbsp oil. Saute green onions, basil and garlic for 2 minutes, high heat
4. add flour, stir for 30 seconds
5. mix in milk and nutritional yeast, medium heat. Stir frequently until creamy
6. add sour cream, pepper and salt. stir gently.
7. pour "cheese" sauce and 1/2 cup onions over pasta, mix.
8. place into baking dish, top with remaining onions.
(we also added steamed broccoli and mushrooms- placing them on top of the noodles)
9. bake at 400 for 10-15 minutes
10. broil for 2-3 minutes

Enjoy!

Monday, January 26, 2009

though I've been intending to start my blog off in a well thought out and planned manner.. that's not going to happen. instead, my eleven month old daughter has planted her firm, squirmy body across my tummy, clenching my arm and fondling my nipple. it's been like this for days, if not weeks, so I'm adjusting. I mean, who needs sleep, or food, or time to read a book, or a real shower or even, god forbid, some free time out of the house. Not I. apparently.

so, this will be the place for me to go. my temporary excape from the day to day to day routine of being a "stay-at-home" mom with three girls. I will often lack grammar and punctuation and even sense on occasion. so, hopefully this won't be a load of shit and I'll actually follow through :)

Peace